Undeserved

From the Beth Moore book I am reading, Breaking Free, I have been focused on her topic of God’s right to rule.  “Sometimes what we need to cure our fat egos is a strong dose of God.” “Long before there was a ‘beginning,’ God had already planned the end.” “When we see ourselves as the center of the universe, we live in constant frustration because the rest of creation refuses to revolve around us.” “God did not design us to boss ourselves.  He formed our psyches to require authority, so we’d live in the safety of His careful rule.”  These are all quotes from this mornings read that really stuck out to me and then….

I was grateful. For some reason, JR married me.  I don’t know why, but he did.  Then, the Lord blessed us with three children, and now we live in Eastern Europe serving Him.  What makes me so grateful is that, I don’t deserve any of it, but it’s what I’ve been given.  On the screen right now (another one in front of me) is a screen saver of pictures we have taken.  Our children smiling in different locations, learning from deep history, seeing the ravages of some of that history, experiencing life in another culture, and they all get to eat everyday(something I try not to take for granted).  So, I am grateful because, you see the kicker is that I know my heart, and without God, it’s just evil, undeserved.  Jeremiah said in 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”  I know full well, this verse is me without God, self-centered, egotistical, always wanting my way, and never liking to follow the rules. So, I am humbled and thankful because I so often go back to a me-centered life.  Just yesterday I did that and in turn was unkind to someone! – because of my own self-centeredness. I know that I am in the process of sanctification, but this morning as I read about God’s right to rule in my life, I am humbled and grateful because even though, I so often take the reins back and decide to live a life totally focused on self, the Lord still, still gives this unbounding grace daily – actually moment by moment.  I think it’s hard for us to wrap our minds around so we tend to wallow in guilt, but today….today, I am going to strive to just be grateful for it.

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